


i wanna be by your side (so i can close my eyes)

by SegaBarrett



Category: Bates Motel (2013)
Genre: F/M, Incest, Pegging, References to Past Non-Con/Incest, Sibling Incest, post-S3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 21:48:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5021722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SegaBarrett/pseuds/SegaBarrett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Norma and Caleb try to work on their past scars - but where there's an action, there's a reaction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i wanna be by your side (so i can close my eyes)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Bates Motel, and I make no money from this.
> 
> A/N: When I came up with this fic, it was very... different. I don't know how well it turned out, but... well, here you go. Trigger warnings all over the place, proceed with caution. Consent is there during the act itself but given the past these two share, it's probably always going to be at least dub-con.
> 
> A/N #2: Title is from "Unbelievable" by Kaci Brown.

Caleb nervously brushed his hands through his dirty-blonde hair, as if it could in some way make him look more presentable. Norma had asked him over, after all. There was still this giddy, schoolboyish, butterflies-in-stomach need to look good for Norma.

He rang the doorbell, rocked on his feet, nervously waved his hands, repeated her name in his head. He’d only been back in town a few days, and the time away had felt like he’d been on another planet, light years away.

He could remember being a kid again, a kid and thinking of nothing but her and what she was doing and whether she was safe. The heart palpitations, the adolescent fumblings… no, that wasn’t quite it. He couldn’t hand-wave it as all innocent exploration. 

On some level he’d known he had power over her. Power that he used for his own reasons… the high that he got from realizing she would follow him, listen to him, follow him wherever he would lead.

Maybe that was why he had chosen to spend so many years alone. Alone, he didn’t have to figure other people out, try and figure out what the right thing to say would be. He could drift in and out of relationships, let them be surface level – by the time they realized there wasn’t much beneath that surface they’d be out a few hundred bucks but none the worse for wear, and they’d think Caleb was just a nice guy with a dazzling smile and big blue eyes.

Norma was different. She knew him. She’d seen the bad, she’d seen the good, and she was still here, one way or another. He couldn’t betray her trust, not again. 

The door opened, and Norma poked her head out. She was wearing a long, floral dress, specks of blue and red flowers everywhere. He noticed her hand shivering on the door-hinge and he gave his most disarming smile.

“Hi, Norma Louise,” he offered. “Thanks… for inviting me over. It means a lot.”

“Yeah,” Norma echoed, stepping aside so he could come in. 

He shuffled inside and looked around.

“Listen, Caleb,” Norma started, and then she looked at him with a sigh. “I had a plan. I was mad. I wanted… I was thinking about us. About… what you did all those years.”

Caleb slowly sat on the couch and looked at her. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. What was it that he could even say? This wasn’t something that words could ever make right. 

“And I had a plan.” Norma reached down and curled up the bottom of her dress, rubbed it between her fingers. “A plan to make you feel as helpless as you made me feel.” She let out a breath. “I… Well, I had images in my head. Pushing you down, pinning you. A, you know, a thing – a…” She laughed bitterly. “Do you even know what a strap-on is?”

Caleb blinked.

“I… uh, think so, yeah.”

“So you know – I mean, I guess that was my plan.” She collapsed on the couch beside him. “But I can’t. All the things you did and somehow I can’t hurt you. I feel guilty and bad and…” She dug her nails into her palm and met his eyes. “Damn it, Caleb. I killed the last man who raped me – stabbed him…” She curled her fist and swung it, stopping just short of Caleb’s stomach. He stayed paused, frozen in his spot. “I stabbed him and I… I kept stabbing him because… who was he to… to do that to me, again?” She knotted her hand in Caleb’s shirt and grabbed it tight. “So why can’t I hurt you?”

Caleb gingerly put a hand on Norma’s shoulder.

“Because you’re a good person. Because… because I’m your brother and you’re my little sister. Because I’m not just some person off the street… Because… no matter what I did… we’re blood, Norma Louise. We’re blood.”

She snorted.

“Did you miss the part where I said I stabbed a man to death?”

Caleb shrugged, moved his hand and laid his head on Norma’s shoulder. It was warm, comforting, gave him a feeling of some kind of warmth and safety he’d thought he had left behind a long time ago.

“Sounds like he was one of those people who needed killin’.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Norma put a hand on her knee. He could hear her breathing faster, shallower. “I don’t know what to do, Caleb. I’m so far in over my head. But I always have been. I just… I keep swimming but it’s like I’m always drowning, no matter what I do. I get up long enough to get some air and then I just sink again.”

“I know the feeling,” he said quietly. “I don’t know if I’ve really been… alive… for a long time. When I was here, when I saw you… It made me feel… And when I met Dylan, being with him…” He reached up and put a hand on her cheek. “You make me feel, Norma Louise. And so if there’s something that makes you feel better about any of this, I want to do it. Eyes open.”

Norma laughed. 

“Seriously? I sit here and rant about fucking you roughly with a strap-on and you say, ‘I want to do it, eyes open’?”

“Yeah. I mean, eyes open, ass open. Guess I better live a little.” Caleb let his hands hang nervously in his lap. “I mean… People do this stuff all the time. Can’t be that bad, right?”

Norma’s eyes looked him over with concern.

“Well, I’m not going to force you to do it. If you have any qualms you can always back out.”

“I’m not backing out, Norma Louise. Go hard or go home.” Caleb gave a nervous smile as he said the words, standing up and brushing his hands against his pants. “Should we go upstairs?”

“Yes.”

Norma took his hand and led him up the steps, into a back bedroom. Caleb took a seat at the edge of the bed and trailed his fingers along the soft blanket. 

“Should I lie down here?”

Norma nodded.

Caleb removed his tan leather jacket and placed it on the nightstand. He lay down on the bed on his stomach and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes. 

“Loosen up, Caleb.” Norma’s hands were on his; he hadn’t even realized that he had pulled his hands into fists. He tried to breathe. “If this hurts, I’ll stop – okay?” He could feel light, gentle, feathery touches on his side, across his back. Now he was conscious of her pulling his shirt over his head and then, slowly pulling his jeans down and off, followed by his boxers. “It’s going to be all right.”

He felt something cool being dabbed over his hole, and thought again about the possibility of just calling it quits on this. Norma had certainly given him ample lead-in to do so. But maybe this was what he wanted, after all – to put his trust in her, to be vulnerable in front of the one person he still trusted more than anyone.

A moment later, there was an odd feeling, something poking in just slightly, and it gave Caleb a start.

“Does that hurt?”

He shook his head.

“I just didn’t expect… Is that your finger?”

“Yes.” He felt her poke it in a little farther, and pressed into the bed. “I’m going to need to stretch you to get this to fit, okay? So you’re really going to have to work with me.”

“Okay.” Caleb breathed in; the bedspread smelled of Norma. It was weird to think he was really here, that they were doing this. It felt as if there was nothing else outside of these walls, outside of this bed. The entire rest of the world was only a blur, and they were the only two people who mattered.

He felt another fingertip poke inside. 

“Ow,” he winced. “How much wider do I have to get?”

“This is about it. This isn’t going to be too big.”

“I don’t get how people do this… This doesn’t – ouch – feel like this is what my ass is supposed to be doing, Norma.”

He heard Norma laugh behind him.

“Just relax, Caleb. It’s not hurting too bad, is it?”

Caleb let out a tiny chuckle, too. It was really very odd, but they seemed to actually be having a good time. He told himself that he had better not ruin it, whatever he did. 

“No, Norma… It’s just weird.”

After a few more pushes, he felt the fingers disappear. He felt an odd mix of relief and disappointment. He was ready to go with this, and somehow it had stopped feeling so odd and started feeling right in a way he couldn’t quite understand. Was that why people did this kind of thing? It wasn’t really something he had turned over in his mind much before.

“All right, breathe in, okay?” 

Before Caleb had managed to really get his thoughts in order and make his lungs cooperate, something was pushing at his entrance and he was clinging to fistfuls of bedspread. 

“Norma,” he gasped out, but he was surprised when a moment later, it seemed to settle, and his heart with it. He didn’t really know what he had been afraid of – maybe it had been the words Norma had said earlier, about wanting to make him feel like she had felt. It seemed selfish, though, to be afraid of his own actions backfiring on him. Wasn’t that what he would deserve? Wasn’t that what he was meant to have coming? Not this, not this care, not Norma taking care of him, loving him even. 

“Does it hurt, Caleb?” 

Her voice was floating, somehow. His eyes were shut and all he could see was darkness. 

“No.” 

He bit his lip, trying to keep a moan from escaping his lips. This was something he shouldn’t be liking, something he shouldn’t be…

“Norma.” There were tears flooding his eyes.

“Caleb,” she whispered, and there were gentle hands on his back, rubbing it, massaging gently. “It’s okay. I’m here, and I won’t hurt you. No one is going to hurt you.”

They were the same words she had said to him, and he to her, a very long time ago. They’d been hiding under the porch, arms wrapped around each other, crying out silently, knowing that they were all alone in the world – except for each other. 

He felt her begin to move, in and out of him, slowly; he had just begun to really wonder what the appeal of this was when she brushed against something inside him; it was like striking flint. He yelped and his head snapped back. He was left open-mouthed, gasping.

“Norma!” he managed.

“Pretty good, huh?” she asked, and he nodded vigorously, then shut his eyes.

“Wait,” he mumbled, then rolled back on to his back. The plastic member slipped out, fell by the wayside, as he pulled himself up into a sitting position.

“Caleb, what?” Norma asked. There was a flash of fear in her blue eyes, uncertainty about where this was headed.

“I felt good, now you,” he offered quietly. “Lay back… ‘sokay?”

“What are you going to do?” Norma asked, but she moved back, laying her head on the pillow and bringing her knees up in an almost defensive posture.  
In answer, Caleb scooted up, slowly pushed her knees apart, and then met her blue eyes with his own. It was like looking in a mirror, sometimes.

She nodded. 

He reached out, slowly curled up the edges of the dress; she must have shed what was underneath while he was facedown. He took a deep breath and reached out with his fingers first, placed a thumb on her clit and began to rub. He looked up, locked eyes with her, waited for the nod. 

“Norma.” He was suddenly conscious of how chaffed and calloused his finger must be, and looked at her sheepishly. “How’s that?”

She looked back at him, then closed her eyes, and nodded again. He rubbed again, slow and gentle, then kicked his own legs back and moved to his elbows. Norma’s eyes flew open again.

“Caleb?”

But Caleb had already committed to what he was about to do, hoping that Norma would be okay with it, too. His tongue slid out of his mouth and pressed gently against the tiny mound he’d been rubbing a few moments before. 

“Caleb.” The questioning seemed to be gone, replaced by a pleased, yet surprised sound. He jutted his head forward, and tried to press in deeper, finding it harder than he’d planned. He didn’t give up; he twirled his tongue faster, than slower – whatever he was doing seemed to be getting pleased results from the woman in front of him. He pushed the ramifications to the back of his mind – he wouldn’t think about before, he wouldn’t think about what this would mean, he wouldn’t consider what this made him now and what the things he had done had always made him. He would only focus on the moment, on making Norma continue to make that sound. 

It was the only thing that mattered.

Her hands were knotted in his hair, yanking it hard, and he went with it, moved with it. Then she was yelling, she was calling, and somehow, now, he was kissing her and she was holding him and now they were laying in the bed, he naked and her with her dress ruffled and half off. 

Caleb buried his head in her shoulder.

“Norma… I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have… I should go. If Norman saw…”

“He’s gone.”

The words cut through the air. Caleb was silent for a long moment. 

“Gone? What… do you mean, gone? I mean you two are… Dylan said you were always…”

“I put him in a place.”

“An institution?”

“A… It’s… pretty. It has a nice brochure. It’s expensive.” Norma was staring up at the ceiling. “I needed to feel something. Don’t be sorry. This wasn’t like before. This time? This time it was something I needed… I didn’t want to feel empty inside.”

Caleb sat up, started to pull his boxers back on.

“Norma… If Norman’s getting help well that… That’s good. He’ll be better. He’ll get better.” 

“I feel hollowed out and torn apart.”

Caleb paused, breathed, thought about what he wanted to say versus what he should actually say.

“It’ll pass, Norma.” 

She looked at him, eyes wide and full of tears.

“Did it pass for you?”

Caleb swallowed. He blinked. And then he lied.

“…Yes.”


End file.
